by Beauty standards shape how people are seen, treated, and valued—often without their consent. They influence who is praised, who is policed, and who is made to feel invisible. While beauty ideals are frequently discussed as a single cultural force, the reality is far more complex. Beauty standards do not operate uniformly across all bodies. They shift dramatically depending on gender, expression, and social expectation.
For men, women, and nonbinary people, beauty standards carry different rules, pressures, and punishments. Some are loud and obvious; others are subtle, internalized, and rarely acknowledged. Understanding these differences is essential—not to rank who has it worse, but to recognize how deeply gendered beauty expectations harm everyone in distinct ways.
This article explores how beauty standards differ across genders, how they are enforced, and why dismantling them requires an inclusive, intersectional approach.
What Are Beauty Standards, Really?
Beauty standards are socially constructed ideals that define which bodies, faces, and expressions are considered acceptable, attractive, or worthy of respect. They are shaped by history, media, colonialism, capitalism, patriarchy, and cultural power.
They tell us:
- Which bodies are visible
- Which traits are praised or mocked
- Whose aging is allowed
- Whose appearance is constantly scrutinized
- Who is expected to “try harder”
Importantly, beauty standards are not neutral preferences. They are systems of control that reward conformity and punish difference—often along lines of gender, race, ability, size, age, and class.
Beauty Standards Are Gendered by Design
From early childhood, people are taught different expectations based on perceived gender. Clothing, grooming, posture, emotion, and even body shape are policed differently.
A child assigned female at birth may be praised for beauty before ability. A child assigned male may be praised for strength before sensitivity. Nonbinary and gender-nonconforming children are often pressured to “pick a side” or erase themselves altogether.
These early lessons evolve into deeply gendered beauty standards that follow people into adulthood.
Beauty Standards for Women: Visibility, Youth, and Perfection
Beauty standards for women are among the most documented—and for good reason. Women’s bodies have long been treated as public property, subject to evaluation, commentary, and control.
The Expectation to Be Attractive—But Not Try Too Hard
Women are often expected to be:
- Naturally beautiful, yet visibly groomed
- Slim, but not “too thin”
- Curvy, but not “overweight”
- Youthful, but not immature
- Sexual, but not “provocative”
This creates an impossible double bind. Women are judged both for conforming to beauty standards and for appearing to care about them too much.
The Moralization of Women’s Bodies
For women, beauty is often tied to moral worth. A woman’s body can be read as a reflection of:
- Discipline
- Self-control
- Respectability
- Social value
Weight gain, aging, acne, body hair, or disability are often framed as personal failures rather than natural human variations.
Aging as a Threat
Unlike men, whose aging can be framed as “distinguished,” women are often pressured to resist visible signs of aging at all costs. Wrinkles, gray hair, and changes in skin or body shape are treated as problems to be fixed rather than life stages to be honored.
The Cost of Compliance
Meeting beauty standards for women often requires:
- Time
- Money
- Emotional labor
- Pain (through restrictive diets, cosmetic procedures, or uncomfortable clothing)
Yet the labor involved is rarely acknowledged—only the result is expected.
Beauty Standards for Men: Strength, Control, and Emotional Detachment
Beauty standards for men are often dismissed or minimized, but they are very real—and deeply restrictive.
The Ideal Male Body
Men are typically expected to embody:
- Strength
- Height
- Muscularity
- Leanness
- Physical dominance
While thinness is often idealized for women, men are pressured toward size—specifically muscle mass. Being “too small” or “too soft” is often stigmatized.
The Policing of Vulnerability
For men, beauty standards are tied not just to appearance but to behavior. Emotional expression, softness, or perceived femininity can be punished socially.
Men may be discouraged from:
- Expressing body insecurity
- Admitting to grooming routines
- Seeking help for eating disorders or body dysmorphia
This silence can make male body image struggles harder to identify and address.
Aging and Authority
Unlike women, men are often allowed to age visibly—sometimes even gaining social capital through signs of maturity. However, this privilege is not universal and often depends on race, class, and body type.
Men who do not fit the dominant ideal—due to disability, fatness, race, or gender expression—may experience marginalization that is often overlooked.
Beauty Standards for Nonbinary People: Invisibility and Erasure
Nonbinary people face a unique challenge: beauty standards that are not designed with them in mind at all.
Existing Outside the Binary
Most beauty ideals are built on a strict male/female binary. This leaves nonbinary people navigating standards that:
- Don’t reflect their identities
- Force them into gendered boxes
- Punish ambiguity or fluidity
Nonbinary individuals may feel pressure to:
- Appear “androgynous enough” to be recognized
- Constantly explain or justify their appearance
- Conform to others’ expectations of what nonbinary “should” look like
The Myth of Androgyny
Androgyny is often treated as the default—or only—acceptable nonbinary aesthetic. This excludes nonbinary people who are:
- Feminine
- Masculine
- Fat
- Disabled
- Racialized
- Aging
No single look defines nonbinary identity, yet media representation often suggests otherwise.
Hypervisibility and Policing
Nonbinary bodies can be hyper-scrutinized. Clothing choices, hair, voice, and body shape may be constantly questioned or misinterpreted.
This scrutiny can lead to:
- Heightened body dysphoria
- Safety concerns
- Pressure to perform identity through appearance
For many nonbinary people, beauty standards are not just harmful—they can be actively dangerous.
How Media Reinforces Gendered Beauty Standards
Media plays a central role in shaping and sustaining beauty norms.
Who Gets Seen
Mainstream media overwhelmingly prioritizes:
- Thin, able-bodied women
- Muscular, tall men
- Androgynous but conventionally attractive nonbinary figures
This narrow representation sends a clear message about which bodies are acceptable and which are expendable.
Social Media and Algorithmic Bias
Algorithms often reward:
- Youth
- Symmetry
- Eurocentric features
- Gender conformity
Content that challenges beauty norms—especially from marginalized genders—can be shadow-banned, criticized, or dismissed as “political.”
Intersectionality: Gender Is Only One Layer
Beauty standards are never experienced in isolation. Race, disability, size, age, and class all intersect with gender to shape how bodies are judged.
For example:
- A thin, white woman may be praised where a fat woman of color is stigmatized
- A muscular man may be admired while a disabled man is desexualized
- A nonbinary person of color may face both racialized and gendered scrutiny
Body inclusivity requires acknowledging these layered realities—not flattening them into a single narrative.
The Emotional Toll of Gendered Beauty Standards
Across genders, beauty standards contribute to:
- Body dissatisfaction
- Disordered eating
- Anxiety and depression
- Shame and self-surveillance
- Disconnection from the body
While the pressures differ, the harm is widespread.
Importantly, this is not about comparing suffering. It’s about understanding how systems adapt their control mechanisms depending on who they target.
Moving Toward Inclusive Beauty
Challenging beauty standards requires more than individual confidence. It requires cultural change.
What Inclusive Beauty Looks Like
- Multiple genders represented authentically
- Aging bodies seen as valuable
- Disabled bodies included without inspiration narratives
- Fat bodies depicted without shame
- Gender expression uncoupled from worth
Inclusive beauty does not replace one ideal with another—it dismantles the idea that bodies must meet ideals at all.
What We Can Do as Individuals and Communities
- Question the beauty norms we’ve internalized
- Expand who we follow, praise, and amplify
- Avoid commenting on bodies as moral indicators
- Support gender-affirming self-expression
- Make space for complexity rather than conformity
Body inclusivity is not about lowering standards—it’s about removing them.
Final Thoughts: Beauty Without Borders
Beauty standards differ for men, women, and nonbinary people—but none of these standards exist to serve us. They exist to control, categorize, and limit.
True body inclusivity recognizes that liberation doesn’t come from fitting into new boxes—it comes from dismantling the boxes altogether.
When we allow all genders to exist without constant evaluation, we move closer to a world where bodies are not problems to solve—but lives to live.
